I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
