Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
