the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
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You. Win. At. Life.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
