We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Then you guys just all showered together...?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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