I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize