This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
