You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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