So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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