Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
