I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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