was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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