:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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