I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
