i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
