i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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