no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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