she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
