I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Buhtt sex?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
