I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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