Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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