now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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