i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
