My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
