C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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