For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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