She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
