It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This is my gift to your gina
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize