so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize