Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
