I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
NoShamevember. You game?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
