I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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