I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
