Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
