You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
