I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
