question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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