Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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