the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
