Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
