I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
