he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
