is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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