a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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