i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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