Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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