Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
