so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What a dumb baby whore.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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