I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
