good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
