so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I need moral support for this bender
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize