But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
