she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
