I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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