It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Randomize
