I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize