I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
