I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
