Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
