This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
