can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
