I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
