STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I faked an abortion last night.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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