ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
