i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
