Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
