Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
